How to tell if you're a plant addict

I know you believe that you don't have a problem and that you can stop buying plants whenever you want. I also understand that it's perfectly normal to spend a portion of your income on plants and that one of your life goals is to have a flat or a place big enough to store your entire plant collection. But before your family and friends decide to get together and plan an intervention, it's time to come clean. want to know if you're a plant addict? We can help you find out.

plant addict or just a plant lover?

Read each statement carefully. If you can relate to the description, add one point. If you don't, don't add anything.

  • You are incapable of entering a shop where plants are sold without buying one. It doesn't matter if it is a nursery, a florist's shop, the Chinese shop on the corner or the Mercadona. If there are plants on sale you feel the irremediable desire to buy even one. If they are on sale, even better because you get both.
  • You have bought a plant because you are sad. Plant-therapy is real and effective, when you are sad, overwhelmed, angry or depressed you buy plants. If you've come to buy plants online at midnight, over a glass of wine, score an extra point.
  • You've bought plants because you're happy. Big occasions should be celebrated in style and there's nothing better to celebrate than buying that Alocasia amazonica you've been looking at online for a while.
  • You have a folder of pictures on your phone with the specific plants you dream of having. You've probably fallen in love with a particular variety or species or a specific colour. Pinterest boards and saved photos on Instagram also count. Take an extra point if that list includes plants that are not native to your country/continent/climate.
  • You have asked plant shops and nurseries for a particular species, showing them the photo. Bonus points if you have asked them to let you know if it arrives in the near future. Take another point in case they did not know the exotic species.
  • You have made sacrifices in order to buy a plant you needed. From travelling long distances, to carrying a giant pot in a taxi (I have a friend who walked a long way carrying a giant monstera), to asking a friend to give you a lift in their car, to saving up to afford it. Note another point if you found out that all this is not necessary if you buy your plant online, as it is delivered to your door.
  • You follow social media accounts that only post pictures of plants. You know which ones they are, some specialise in succulents, others in tropicals and others in orchids. 2 Extra points if you repost their posts on your stories with animated gifs that express how much you love that plant.
  • Your plants have names. You can tell them apart, you know their needs, you know which one is a demanding and dramatic diva, which one is the most relaxed and which one is vindictive. Bonus point if you know the Latin names of your plants.
  • You have exchanged plant cuttings with your friends, or at least given them shoots of your Chinese money plant when they have moved in, for good luck and prosperity.
  • You get excited every time you see new leaves on your plants, take a picture of them and share it on your social media. Flowers are a different story, as they deserve a full photo session.
  • You chat with your plants. While you water them or check them in the mornings, you tell them what you have to do that day or tell them what you are doing: "we are going to remove those little brown leaves, I promise it won't hurt". Extra point if you have put them to music or if you do it regularly.
  • There's no room at the edge of your windows because they're full of plants. But that doesn't stop you, because you've been looking for new planters and systems to make the most of the vertical space. You're even learning how to make macramé to hang them.
  • You've stolen a leaf from a succulent to propagate it, or a small cutting from a plant you've seen in the street that you want to have. Collecting succulent leaves that fall on the ground in shops also counts. Bonus point if you have successfully propagated it.
  • Your friends come to you when they have problems with their plants. They send you pictures of their dying plants and have even brought them to you for recovery. Bonus point if you can tell what they have just by looking at the picture.
  • You ask your partner not to give you cut flowers but potted plants. If you already have time together, they already know that for you the idea of a perfect date might be going out for lunch and browsing plant shops.
Add up all your points. The higher your score, the closer you are to having a plant addiction. If you have more than 20 points, consider yourself a hopeless addict. Congratulations, your house must be a bit humid, but the air must be incredibly pure.
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About the author
Ame Rodríguez

Dedicated to creating an army of cacti, succulents, poodles and cats to help me conquer the world. In the little free time I have left, I play, write and dance.

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