I know you don't think you have a problem and that you can stop buying plants whenever you want. I also understand that it's perfectly normal to allocate a portion of your income to buying plants and that one of your life's goals is to have a flat or a place big enough to store your entire plant collection. But before your family and friends decide to join in and plan an intervention, it's time to open up. Want to know if you're a plant addict? We can help you find out.
Plant addict or just a hobbyist?
Read each statement carefully. If you identify with the description, score a point. Otherwise, don't add anything.
- You are unable to walk into a store where they sell plants without buying any. It doesn't matter if it's a nursery, florist, the Chinese on the corner or the Mercadona. If there are plants for sale, you feel the irremediable desire to buy even one. If they are on sale, even better because you get the 2.
- You've bought a plant because you're sad. Plant therapy is real and effective, when you are sad, overwhelmed, angry or depressed you buy plants. If you've been buying plants online at midnight, while you're having a glass of wine, score an extra point.
- You've bought plants because you're happy. And the fact is that great occasions should be celebrated in a big way and there is nothing better to celebrate than to buy that Amazonian Alocasia that you have been seeing on the internet for a while.
- You have a folder of photographs on your phone with the specific plants you dream of owning. You've probably fallen in love with a particular variety or species or a specific color. Pinterest boards and photos saved on Instagram are also worthwhile. Take an extra point if among that list there are plants that are not native to your country/continent/climate.
- You've asked plant stores and nurseries about a particular species, showing them the photograph. Bonus points if you've asked to be notified if they get it in the near future. Take another point in case you didn't know about that exotic species.
- You've made sacrifices to be able to buy a plant you needed. From traveling long distances, carrying a giant flower pot in a taxi (I have a friend who walked a lot carrying a giant monstera), asking a friend to give you a ride in their car to saving up to be able to afford it. Make another point if you find that all this is not necessary if you buy your plant online, because it is delivered to your doorstep.
- You follow social media accounts that only post pictures of plants. You know what they are, there are those that specialize in succulents, others in tropicals and others in orchids. 2 bonus points if you repost their posts on your stories with animated gifs that express how much you love that plant.
- Your plants have names. You distinguish them, you know their needs, you know which is a demanding and dramatic diva, which is the most relaxed and which is vindictive. Bonus point if you know the Latin name of your plants.
- You've swapped plant cuttings with your friends, or at least gifted them shoots of your Chinese money plant when they've moved out, for good luck and prosperity.
- You get excited every time you see new leaves on your plants, take a picture of them, and share it on your social media. Flowers are another story, as they deserve a full photo shoot.
- You converse with your plants. While you water them or check them in the morning, you tell them what you have to do that day or tell them what you are doing: "Let's take off those brown leaves, I promise it won't hurt." Bonus point if you have played music on them or if you do it regularly.
- There's no room on the edge of your windows because they're full of plants. But this doesn't stop you, as you've been looking for new planters and systems to take advantage of vertical space. You're even learning how to make macramé to hang them.
- You've stolen a leaf from a succulent to propagate it, or a small cutting of a plant you've seen on the street that you want to have. Also counting is picking up the succulent leaves that fall to the ground in stores. Bonus point if you have managed to propagate it successfully.
- Your friends come to you when they have problems with their plants. They send you pictures of their dying plants and have even taken them to you to retrieve. Bonus point if you are able to tell what they have just by looking at the image.
- You ask your partner not to give you cut flowers but potted plants. If you've been together for some time, you already know that for you, the idea of a perfect date might be going out to lunch and browsing plant stores.
Add up all your points. The higher the score, the closer you are to having a plant addiction. If you have more than 20 points, consider yourself a hopeless addict. I congratulate you, your house should be a little humid, but the air has to be incredibly pure.